Dedeker: Sometimes it’s not always obvious upfront. I think when people make agreements with partners that they end up not being able to keep, often it’s not a very obvious thing in the front of their brain right away of, «Oh, this isn’t something I can do, and so I’m just going to lie and say that I can.» I think for some people it is, but for many people, I think they do feel positive, like, «Oh yes, I can agree to that. I can totally agree with that. That makes sense.»
Lori Beth Bisbey says that in non-monogamous relationships, cheating is less about the activity, and more about violating the trust you’ve built up in your relationship
Dedeker: Yes.